Today's Thorn

I broke my toe last night. Maybe I didn't exactly break it. But I at least jammed it pretty painfully. (My dad told my aunt visiting from Arizona that I was bailing on the Aquarium trip today because I "stubbed my toe." His perspective is a little different from mine...it's not HIS toe!) I've been hobbling a little bit today and couldn't put my shoe on until I had wrapped it.

This morning I read the blog Cerulean Sanctum (that's linked at the right, by the way) on the relationship that sometimes exists between sin and sickness. As I read it, I immediately thought about my toe. And about a certain sin in my own life that has been bothering me. Do you ever have those nights that you think, "Oh God, I hate this ugly thing about me that I seem to have to bring before you all the time, apologizing over it again and again?" Okay, maybe you don't. But I do. And all the sudden that sin and that toe were linked together. So as I went through the day, every time I stepped wrong and a shot of pain went straight to my brain, I thought about that sin. You know what? I resisted it much better.

The thing is...I want gentle reminders. Why does it seem God often uses the not so subtle approach with me? Maybe it has something to do with pig-headedness. But then I was thinking about the apostle Paul and his thorn in the flesh. So, at the very least, I can say I'm in good company. There is something in my life that hurts; but God uses even pinky toes.

This is where I am...I can actually say, "Thank You Lord, for this pain that you have allowed to be inflicted upon me (yes, even if it was by my own clumsiness). Because through it, you have enabled me to get a tighter rein on my thoughts and speech."

And a thank you to Dan Edelen, the blogger at Cerulean Sanctum, for an excellent post.

Why

Chad...my autistic man-child. God has taught me so many lessons through a life with this extraordinary boy. But that's a post for a different day.

Today it's about one of his "why" questions. He asks lots of them...Why didn't Pinocchio go to school, Why is Sierra an old dog, etc. (By the way, for those of you who know Sierra, Gaby recently sent me an email telling us that that sweet old dog has died. I didn't have the heart to tell Chad).

Yesterday we were walking along the beach at Asilomar and Chad asked me, "Why do caterpillars turn into butterflies?" After thinking a bit, I knew the answer. The real answer...you know, not the one about metamorphosis, or any other scientific explanation. But the real one.

I told him that's the way God is. That's one of His neatest qualities. He loves to take ordinary, mundane things and transform them into incredible works of beauty.

How do I know this? Because he took the self-centered, sinful heart that I handed to Him, and he's been doing a number on it.