Rules for Discussion

I read a blog this morning that talked about having a "Christ-like" argument. (http://jollyblogger.typepad.com/jollyblogger/2006/01/some_thoughts_o.html) The author had some great suggestions and I wanted to pass a few of them on.

First of all, I'd rather use the term discussion that argument. I know Christ had occasional harsh words with some of his critics, especially with those caught up with their own self righteousness. But He is and was and will always be God. I am not. I'm not in a position to judge the heart of another. So I'd rather keep from the hostility that the word argument portrays.

Secondly, the reason this particular blog caught my eye is because of my own tendency to get into "discussions." I didn't go searching for this, but I consider it providential that God put it in my reading this morning. So this blog is primarily written for me.

Thirdly, some of this is taken from the Jolly Blogger mentioned above (and found through the Best of God-blogs linked in the column at your right) and some of it is my own. Anything stupid or in error...assume to be mine.

Rules for Discussion:

1. Remember who you are debating
We are all made in the image of God, whether we name the name of Christ or not. Treat each person with dignity.

2. Remember your relationship when debating a fellow Christian
These are your brothers and sisters with whom you'll be spending eternity. Treat them gently with that end in mind.

3. Remember who you are
Paul has nothing over me. I am chief of sinners. It's only by the God's grace and unknowable wisdom that He chooses to use me for anything. I really can't be too hard on anyone; even if I try to hide the ugly parts of me, God and I both know they're there. I love that He's changing me into the likeness of His Son. But He's not done with me yet because I had and still have a lot of areas that needed work.

4. Remember how little you really know
I think this is especially important. I Cor. 13:12 tells us that now I know in part, then I shall know fully. I read God's Word and I pray for both wisdom and guidance. The Bible is God's infallible Word, but I am a fallible creature. I may be convinced that my view is correct. But I need to be open to the possibility that in my fallibility, I may be wrong. Not the Word...me.

5. Assume the best of the person you're debating with
How many times have we assigned motives to a person, that may or may not be there? We often respond to people based on their hidden motives. But as the Jolly Blogger says, "to speculate on the motives arrogates to oneself a prerogative which belongs only to God Himself."

6. Choose your battles
Every word spoken doesn't need to be debated. We disagree on all kinds of things. Some of them truly do not matter.

7. Season your words with grace
This should be a goal whenever we speak, whether it's for a word of encouragement, a word of admonishment, or for a discussion.

So now that I've blogged the list, I'm copying it to serve as a bookmark in my Bible. Hopefully, I'll remember to glance over it next time I start to open my mouth.

Psalm 37

Recently someone commented on my blog about Psalm 37. It is a favorite of mine as well, and I appreciate the reminder. I read it again this morning and I wanted to share a few thoughts.

Before I do that, I have to admit I'm plagiarizing. Those of you who know Chaplain Benzing may remember this from one of his sermons. I made notations in my Bible the morning he preached on it. Now every time I read this psalm, I think of him. And I thank God for the mentors He has placed in my life.

This reading condenses the whole of our relationship with God to a few verses. They are simple, but their simplicity leads to a lifelong satisfaction in God's presence. If we can make these words the song of our hearts, what a difference it would make in our lives.

verse 3
"Trust in the LORD and do good;
dwell in the land and enjoy safe pasture."

Do I trust God? Do I really believe He controls not only the future, but MY future?

verse 4
"Delight yourself in the LORD
and He will give you the desires of your heart."

What a promise that is! Of course, once I have learned to delight myself in God and enjoy the things He enjoys, the desires of my heart will probably look a little different.

verse 5
"Commit your way to the LORD;
trust in Him and He will do this:
He will make your righteousness
shine like the dawn,
the justice of your cause like the
noonday sun."

That committing is the thing. It's a daily conscious effort on my part. Each step I take, I take with the knowledge of who I am and whose I am and at what cost I was given daughtership.

Be still before the LORD and wait
patiently for Him;
do not fret when men succeed in
their ways,
when they carry out their wicked
schemes."

We looked at that thought the other day...the being still. Relax and let go of the striving, the struggling; rest in assurance. Be diligent and obedient, but all the time remember that God is in control.

There it is:

Trust
Delight
Commit
Rest

Does that not say it all?

The Little Moments

The next paragraph contains a thought that has been with me for a while now; actually since I left Germany. I think it must be an important one, because it's something God reiterated today.

Every contact we have with another person, regardless of who that person is, needs to be made with love.

When we were leaving Garmisch, I made a phone call to get a driver to take us to the airport. The individual I got on the line wasn't speaking English as well as I would have liked. I was a little stressed at the time with the move, so I was trying not to let it show. The man was supposed to call back later that day at a certain time. We were no longer in military quarters, so I had to be sure to be there when he called, which meant a special trip (I know I should have had a cell phone, but I didn't...and the cabins had no phones). Well, he didn't call back, and I had to track him down, so again, I was a little frustrated. I tried to keep it out of my voice, but I don't know how well I did.

He came to pick us up the next day, and surprise...it was someone I kind of knew. He had driven our van to a women's retreat earlier in the fall. One of my dearest friends (you know who you are, Alex) shared her faith with this man almost the entire 8 hour trip back. When I realized who it was, I was thankful that I hadn't been nasty to him on the phone and I was sorry that I hadn't been kinder. I could have single handedly destroyed any positive impact Alex had had on his life. Then I thanked God for the object lesson.

This morning I ran a few errands. Sometimes I am very conscious of how I treat cashiers, waitresses and such. I think they often see the worst in humanity and I don't want to profane the God who calls me His own. I was at Target, and someone asked if they could help me. I started to reply, "No, I'm just looking," in a fairly impersonal way. But at the last minute, I turned to make eye contact with her and smile. It was a woman who goes to the church here, sporadically. She said to me, "Aren't you Mona's daughter?" She has seen me only at church. Again, I had the power to chip away at any of the good that has been done in her life by Christians here. What a humbling thought.

Those little unimportant moments matter.

By the way, Cheryl, I did my "homework" for Friday morning Bible study. I invited Venus, right there in Target.

Thank You

Do you ever feel like you're all alone in something? Has there been a time, when you have single handedly had to defend a view, against a whole room of people? It doesn't even matter who is right or wrong in the end; at least not for the purposes of this discussion. It just this question...have you ever had to defend a view that you knew was not going to be popular and would probably be misinterpreted and misconstrued. You could keep your mouth shut and peace would follow, or you could pipe up, and blood pressures would undoubtedly rise.

Well, it seems that I am in this predicament frequently. Granted, it has not always been done wisely. That's part of the problem. And I haven't learned well how to choose my battles.

But I'm still on this thing about improving self instead of casting stones. So when I'm in a class where that is what we seem to be doing, I start bristling and want change the focus. With God's help, maybe I'll get more gracious in this regard. Maybe that's what He has planned for me for this 6 months we been planted in California. How to tread more gently and season my words with grace.

At any rate, I was given a gift today. Actually two. One from my own 15 year old son and the other from my nephew. My own child is a typical teenager...his goal at this point in his life is not necessarily to build his mother up. So any time he does that, I'm thankful. These two teenagers gave me words of encouragement, which, after the class discussion I had participated in, was like receiving a Big Gulp on a hot summer day.

It made me feel like I'm not necessarily out in left field by myself. So today, I'm saying thank you to Derek and Brandon. Next time bring your ball glove.