The Dark Night of the Soul

Several things I have been reading lately have touched on this concept, "the dark night of the soul." I think it was St. John of the Cross who first used this term. It describes a feeling of abandonment by God, as if your prayers were bouncing off the door of heaven. In some ways it's a Biblical concept, because we know Jesus' prayer as He hung on the cross was about forsakenness. (Even though I see that episode a little diferent than a lot of people do.) We also know that God "left" King Hezekiah for a period of testing. Many of the psalms speak of loneliness and despair.

So when I'd read comments lately in books and articles about it, it left me wondering some, feeling a little ill at ease. The truth is, I don't want to feel abandoned. In my own life there was a period of aloneness, but that was because I walked away from God, not the other way around. The thought of God withdrawing leaves me terrified.

On my walk today I was thinking all this. I noticed a male cardinal in a tree as I passed, and I had to pause and thank God for him. About 15 minutes later I saw another cardinal in different tree in a different cul de sac. As I looked at him, I wondered if he might be the same cardinal I had seen earlier. I don't know if it was, but I choose to think so. Because it made me realize something. I asked that little bird if he had been following me. I hadn't been aware of his presence, but it was there. And that is exactly how God is. Even in my own disobedience, He was walking right beside me.

He has promised,

"Never will I leave you;
never will I forsake you." (Heb. 13:5b)

And Jesus told us that he would be with us always, even to the very end of the age. (Matt 28:20)

So when authors or speakers or well meaning friends or bitter enemies or even my own heart try to tell me otherwise, I rest in the fact that God is greater than all of these (I John 3:20). I'm banking everything thing I am and have on His promises. There is no more secure place than that to be.